America is the country that I love. I am an American. I believe in America. I believe that America stands for something. It is not a merely a continuous border surrounding a few chunks of land on a map. It is not a government or a flag. It is not a language or a single set of values. It is not an anthem or a flag. It is not merely a symbol. It is real. We have a flawed, often corrupt, ineffective system. Many people fall through the cracks. Many people exploit the loopholes. Yes, it is a slow, sometimes shitty system. But it is the best one there is. It is the best one there has ever been. Unprecedented peace and prosperity, considering. What, then, is America? It is simply an idea. It is freedom. Liberty. America is Choice.

            Now, before we get worked up, when I say “America is Choice”, I’m not talking about abortion, but while we’re on the subject, Choice is for everyone. That means everyone. That means the people who believe that a wet dream on a bed sheet is a life the moment a woman enters the room. And that means the people who believe that having their fetus’ brains sucked out by a high powered pressure-vac two days before their due date is merely a political statement- nay, civic duty- akin to sending in a letter to the op-ed page of their local paper. People who identify themselves as “pro-life” believe quite firmly that abortion is the moral and literal equivalent of shooting an old lady in the face. People who identify themselves as “pro-choice” apparently think that whether or not they get pregnant is wholly beyond their control. Guess what- babies come from fuckin’! There is no stork. No cabbage patch. God does not miraculously make you pregnant (there is, arguably, one exception). To them, abortion is a woman’s right, morally equivalent to the pull-out. Somehow, though when we get on the subject blood-pressure rises, we peacefully co-exist. Even those who are not pro-choice believe in the right to disagree as Americans. It is Choice for them and for everyone in between.

            When it comes to representation, we’ve got Choice. This is what the Boston Tea Party was all about. That and dressing up as savage Injuns to say “fuck you” to the established powers. The powers here are two. If you want to vote Republican, do it, you’ve got the Choice. If you want to vote Democrat, do it. If you want to be really crazy, you can waste your vote and vote third party. It is my understanding that occasionally, these candidates actually make it onto the ballot. Even if this plenitude of Choice is not enough for you, (you greedy bastard) you could Choose to not vote. Lots of people choose this final option; you’d be in good company with the Lazy, the Disenfranchised, The Apathetic and The Nihilistic. But remember what Geddy Lee said, “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”

            Why then, is it that we choose so narrowly? Are there people running for the presidency besides McCain and Obama? Our research says no.