THE DEIFICATION OF THE “WORKING MAN”

            The larger theme of American politics today is the use of the archetypal “common man/woman”. The fact is that the degrading use of the common man as a mascot should be pissing people off. But they seem to like it. Myriad new handles have emerged, comfortably fitting among the old: “Hockey Mom”, “Joe the Plumber”, the “Average Joe”, “Joe Six-pack”, “Joe Blow”, “Joe I-came-here-from Scranton-on-a-train Biden”. The message here is insulting if you’ve ever had to work for a living. “Joe Six-pack”? That means, I suppose, you spend your day toiling at your shitty, dirty, depressing job and then you squander your meager pay on the only possible escape available to you- to get drunk as cheaply as possible. The Democratic National Convention was a tear-jerkingly boring parade of regular folk. The general theme of their inept speeches was: “My life sucks. Blame the Republicans.” Joe Biden takes the train to work far less than he talks about it. We get it. You’ve got working class roots. But you’ve been a Senator longer than John McCain’s been home from Vietnam. You are one of the elite. Accept it.

            “Joe the Plumber” is the ultimate symbol of this. He probably sits in his car listening to Limbaugh/Hannity talking points when he’s driving to snake some prick’s toilet or on his way home with a six-er of Beast light. So when he meets up with Obama, he knows just what to say. In his fantasy life he’s about to buy a company where he will be immediately affluent enough to swap six-packs for six figures. His fear of Obama taxing his imaginary fortune was the only basis for his question.  His current unemployment might be worth considering if you are keeping tabs on his projected tax increase. For some reason (desperation) Republicans seized on the opportunity this provided to hold this guy up as the symbol of rampant taxation. The sorry state of Senator McCain’s campaign is evidenced by the fact that despite gaining zero traction with this ploy, they actually seem determined to ride this moron into the brick wall of Election Day. He put out a “press release” endorsing McCain. He hired the services of a PR firm. He’s giving interviews in the press, questioning Obama's patriotism: "There’s too many questions with Barack Obama and his loyalty to our country. And I question that greatly." Yikes! Obama is a mole!

THE UNDECIDED VOTE

            A November 2^nd poll by the Pew Foundation indicates that 7% of respondents are still undecided even at this late hour. What the fuck are they still considering? One might decide that they should vote for someone simply because they fear the socialist tendencies of their opponent. One might decide to vote for someone simply because he’s black. One might decide to vote for someone because his running mate has a vagina. One might vote for whoever says the word “change” most often. One might vote for the war hero. Or against the party most closely aligned with war. How about moose burgers? Springsteen? Who does Jesus want you to vote for? How about your favorite activist celebrity? Who would I rather have a beer with? Have sex with? Who does Fish and Chip News endorse? What’s the media telling me? What are they hiding? Fresh faced neophyte? Old, wise hand?

            No, it’s none of these. It’s “who’s just like me?” This has been around for a couple of decades. Nothing new, of course. It’s just that now it’s gotten to the level of electoral pornography. We have created politics in our own image. That image has validated our lives and stroked our egos.  And if I might be so bold as to say, if that’s our criteria for the Presidency, we are all damned fools. By extension, so is anyone we elect.